How to Put Family First

You are a parent with young children; in what seems like no time at all, you find that you have a family. However, you've never done this before, and the way you've lived your life up until now isn't working any more, because you're not used to not being the most important person on your life. Here's how you can change that and put your family first:

Steps

1. 1
   Do your research. Find out what makes your children happy, and what they don't like. If you're considering putting your family first, then this is probably your number one priority.
2. 2
   If you have a spouse, ask them what aspect of family life really makes them happy, and what they really don't enjoy. You may be able to suggest activities that they don't even realize are important to them, such as a good meal or time on their own. Find out what do they enjoy doing the most and you're halfway there. This is probably your second priority.
3. 3
   Think of what makes you happy. Is it time on your own? Is it time with your children? Your spouse? Or time with all of them? If you have a spouse, they may be able to help you in the same way because they're able to give you a fresh perspective on your life and happiness. This may be your lowest priority.
4. 4
   Make a plan to solve the problem. Now that you're armed with the most vital pieces of information, you have to do the clever bit. You don't need to be a genius to do it, you just have to be logical. Consider teamwork for this; asking for help is not a sign of weakness. You may be able to do this on your own, but if you have a spouse - or a close friend or family member - it's probably a good idea to ask them; they may have experience in this that you're unaware of. Consider all of the priorities. You've decided that you want to put your family first, but is your method correct? If you have a job, how will it affect your boss?
5. 5
   Get your kids involved. If this is suitable (if they're old enough to talk and express themselves), then ask them what they think. Children have incredibly creative minds, unaffected by all the restrictions adults place on them. Among those seemingly silly ideas (such as eating chocolate for breakfast) they may suggest something genuinely simple and effective, such as playing a board game, watching a film together, or playing outside (then again, perhaps chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast may be a suitably glamorous breakfast solution).
   
   
   You might remember something that you used to like doing as a child which you can introduce them to. Remember, we don't stop playing because we get old, we get old because we stop playing.

How To Respect Parents

It’s easy to take our parents for granted. We forget the sacrifices they’ve made for us, and the effort it takes to raise happy, healthy children. Respect is foundational to love, and one of the best ways to show your parents that you love them is to treat them with respect. Small habits that you can incorporate into your daily routine, and a loving and positive attitude will make them feel loved and respected, and proud to have you as their child.

Part One: Young Adults

1. 
   
   • Be aware of, and appreciate all the things that your parents do for you form day to day, month to month, year to year. Notice the amount of time they dedicate to being with you, and the joy they express when spending family time with you. Imagine what it would be like to put yourself in their shoes. If you were your mom or your dad, how would you like to be treated by your own children? How would it feel to have to manage the many responsibilities they have in your household? What decisions would you make if you were in your parents’ position? Thank them for the big things they do, like staying up all night with you when you’re sick, as well as for the little things, like bringing you a cup of hot tea or helping you choose a dress for a special occasions.
   • Recognize and respect the fact that they have been through many more life experience than you, and can offer you a great deal of knowledge about the world you live in. Although sometimes parents may seem overly-strict or embarrassingly old-fashioned, for example; Insisting that you respect them as well as your other elders by referring to them as "Sir", or "Madam", you must respect the fact that often their guidance toward you reflects wisdom that has been past down from their own parents and elders. This type of strict guidance is an essential part of their teachings to insure that your able to grow up to be a good, descent, productive and respectful adult.
   • It's a given that sometimes your parents may seem totally clueless and you may feel like they can't possibly relate to the things your dealing with currently, But believe what I say, they actually do understand some of the things that your going through like peer pressure, friendship issues, and alot of other things that kids your age has to deal with simply because they were once a kid just like you. But "NEVER" be afraid of discussing problems that you are having with your parents. You have to tell them if you have issues, they can't help you with things they aren't aware of. It's their job as a parent to help you through things.
   • Remember that your parents love you more than anything else in the world, an have high expectations of what they want you to achieve because they believe in you and want to see you be at your best as you become an adult. Often, when they ask you to do things that seem ridiculous or totally unfair, it’s because they want what’s best for you, and they want to teach you a very important and valuable lesson, that... "Sometimes in life things aren't always fair a big portion of the time".
   • When at times you feel that your parents don’t listen or don’t take you seriously, take a moment to think about what you want them to know and discuss your problems calmly with them and make sure you listen to their side of the story. Avoid arguments with them even if sometimes they seem unfair. Remember that above all, it's your parents that should make the final decision for you and that it's inappropriate for you to try and have the last word. A mature approach on your part includes having a calm and respectful attitude at the end of the conversation and accept that as they are your parents, their will must be your way. In time this will earn their trust in you, and it will demonstrate to them that you are well on your way to becoming a competent well rounded individual who will soon be capable of making your own good decisions, and be responsible for your actions.
   • Make a daily effort not to complain about having to obey your parents commands. Your parents make a lot of sacrifices for you, so reward their efforts with gratitude, obedience and a positive respectful attitude. Remember that these ways that they are teaching you will be so very valuable to you when you grow older and become parents of your own children. You will be able to convey to your own kids the family values your were taught while growing up at home. Remember this, would you want your children behaving with you, the way you may be behaving at home now? Never forget to apologize if you've argued with them; remember that they have feelings, too.
   • Be helpful and assume responsibility around the house by doing extra chores when you can, just to show that you want to do your part in your everyday family life. If you have younger siblings, help them with their homework and their chores, be a model of good behavior for them and try to encourage their obediance to you just as you are obedient to your parents. This will help build a strong and loving family structure for your whole family.
   • Remember that new clothes, toys, cell phones, and money allowances are always nice, but be aware of your parents' income and how much they can afford to spend on the things that they buy for your enjoyment. If at all possible, help them out. Earn some money of your own and save it to help pay for a portion of your clothing and entertainment.
   • Remember that one of the most important things you can do for your parents is to be a loving person. Parents by nature need to know and feel that their children have a great love for them. Be affectionate and give them just as many hugs and kisses as they give you, and do it as often as you wish. There never need be a special occasion reserved for doing this. Love costs nothing, and you can and should want to give it freely. It's what all parents hope and wish for from their beloved children, and I promise you this, the warm feeling you get in your heart for such acts as these last a lifetime.
   • And last but not least...Everyday, take the opportunity to tell your parents you love them.

Part Two: Adult Children

1. 1
   Talk to them regularly. Your parents can be the best friends you’ll ever have. They have rich lives and their years of stories are invaluable treasures.
2. 2
   Visit them often. Even if you don't live near them. You’ll be grateful for the time you spent with them when they're gone, and you’ll regret the lost opportunity if you don’t visit them.
3. 3
   Include your parents in your family activities. Invite them to movies, family dinners and on family vacation.
4. 4
   Help them maintain active lives. If your parents are elderly and have a hard time driving or getting around, take them to see their friends, to go shopping, to restaurants and out for walks.
5. 5
   Organize visits with their grandchildren. If you have children, let them visit your parents as often as possible. A loving relationship between grandparents and grandchildren is one of the joys of life (not to mention free babysitting!).
6. 6
   Be loving. Just like you were when you were a kid!
   • Be affectionate and give them hugs and kisses (they still love it!).
   • Apologize if you've argued with them; remember that they have feelings, too.
   • Thank them for helping to make you the wonderful person you've become.
   • Now that you have income, spoil them the way they spoiled you. Bring them small gifts like flowers, chocolates or a book you think they might enjoy. Give them big gifts on their birthdays and important holidays.
   • Everyday, take the opportunity to tell your parents you love them.
   
   

Physical activity improves quality of life

Do you want to add years to your life? Or life to your years?

Feeling your best boosts your zeal for life!

The American Heart Association recommends 30-minutes of moderate activity, but three 10-minute periods of activity are almost as beneficial to your overall fitness as one 30-minute session. This is achievable! Physical activity may also help encourage you to spend some time outdoors. Sunlight on your skin helps your body produce vitamin D, which brings many added health benefits.

Here are some reasons why physical activity is proven to improve both mental and physical health.

Physical activity boosts mental wellness.

Regular physical activity can relieve tension, anxiety, depression and anger. You may not only notice a "feel good sensation" immediately following your physical activity, but most people also note an improvement in general well-being over time during the weeks and months as physical activity becomes a part of your routine.

Exercise increases the flow of oxygen which directly affects the brain. Your mental acuity and memory can be improved with physical activity.

Physical activity improves physical wellness.

Stronger immunity
It enhances your immune system and decreases the risk of developing diseases such as cancer and heart disease.

Reduced risk factors
Becoming more active can lower your blood pressure by as much as 4 to 9 mm Hg. That's the same reduction in blood pressure delivered by some antihypertensive medications. Physical activity can also boost your levels of good cholesterol.

Physical activity prolongs your optimal health.

Without regular physical activity, the body slowly loses its strength, stamina and ability to function well. And for each hour of regular exercise you get, you'll gain about two hours of additional life expectancy, even if you don't start until middle age. Moderate exercise, such as brisk walking, for as little as 30 minutes a day has the proven health benefits listed above as well as:

• Improves blood circulation, which reduces the risk of heart disease
• Keeps weight under control
• Helps in the battle to quit smoking
• Improves blood cholesterol levels
• Prevents and manages high blood pressure
• Prevents bone loss
• Boosts energy level
• Helps manage stress
• Releases tension
• Promotes enthusiasm and optimism
• Counters anxiety and depression
• Helps you fall asleep faster and sleep more soundly
• Improves self-image
• Increases muscle strength, increasing the ability to do other physical activities
• Provides a way to share an activity with family and friends
• Reduces coronary heart disease in women by 30-40 percent
• Reduces risk of stroke by 20 percent in moderately active people and by 27 percent in highly active ones
• Establishes good heart-healthy habits in children and counters the conditions (obesity, high blood pressure, poor cholesterol levels, poor lifestyle habits, etc.) that lead to heart attack and stroke later in life
• Helps delay or prevent chronic illnesses and diseases associated with aging and maintains quality of life and independence longer for seniors

So why not see for yourself? Once you get over the inertia and find creative ways to fit physical activity into your life, we think you'll agree that the effort to get moving is worth it!

No time for exercise? Try this steps

No time to exercise? Learn how to take 10!
You found your keys. You found the motivation to clean out your closet. Now you’ve got to find 30 minutes in your day to get physically active — and there are plenty of easy, no-cost ways to do it.

Think you don’t have time? You don’t have to do all 30 minutes at once.

You’ll get the same benefits if you divide your time into two or three 10- to 15-minute segments a day.

“Building physical activity back into our daily lives is one of the great public health challenges of this century,” said Russell Pate, Ph.D., professor in the Department of Exercise at the University of South Carolina. “Our bodies were designed to be physically active, and they don’t do well with long-term exposure to sedentary living.  Lack of physical activity is a major risk factor for cardiovascular disease.”

Here are some of Dr. Pate’s tips for getting active:

1. Get out the leash and walk your dog. It’s a great activity for both man and man’s best friend. Your heart — and your pooch — will thank you!
2. Take your child for a brisk walk. It’s an excellent way to get some one-on-one time (or one-on-three, depending on the size of your brood.) Spice up your routine by exploring new neighborhoods or turning your walk into a scavenger hunt.
3. Mall walk. Are you sweating (or shivering) at the idea of walking outside? Take a brisk stroll around your local mall instead. Window shop, people watch and give your heart a workout in a climate-controlled environment.
4. Join a team.  Pick an activity you love and round up some friends. Team sports can be fun — and keep you motivated and accountable.
5. Walk and talk. Even if you’re glued to your phone for work calls, you don’t have to be glued to your seat. Make it a habit to talk and walk. Some workplaces have walking paths to make it even easier to burn while you earn.
6. Tune into fitness during TV time.  Reject your inner couch potato. Walk, jog in place or use the treadmill at the gym while you watch your favorite 30-minute show.
7. Park and walk. How many times have you circled the parking lot to find “the” spot? Spare yourself the stress and gain more energy by parking far away (or even in a remote lot) and walking farther to your destination.
8. Take the stairs. The elevator may go up — but it doesn’t make your heart rate climb. Take the stairs instead. You may huff and puff at first, but over time, your body will thank you. 
9. Dance! Do it in a ballroom, at a club or even in your living room. You’ll burn calories and gain a new hobby.
10. Skip the cake, say goodbye to pie and take a walk after dinner. You’ll get a reward that’s sweeter than dessert: more family time.
    If these ideas don’t work for you, find something that you enjoy. Ditching the excuses can be the first step to a healthier you. Of course, if you have an injury, talk to your doctor first to see if there’s a low-impact exercise you can do or find out if you should wait until you’re healed.

How to Find Happiness Without Buying it

Our materialistic society has led us to believe that happiness cannot be obtained without having money.

Rather than learning to be satisfied with what we have, we are taught to want more. We learn from advertising, and from the media, that we need to buy trinkets and toys in order to make ourselves happy, or to fulfill emotional needs, and that the purchases they are trying to talk us into will provide us with the psychological comfort we are looking for.

Unfortunately, as a society we have bought into these misguided messages and have come to believe that spending money on certain items will bring us fame, fortune, happiness, beauty, or popularity. We end up using money as a crutch to provide us with something we ultimately must find within ourselves. As we become caught up in this charade, we trade precious hours of our lives trying to earn the money we have been taught to covet so much. We trade hours of our lives working, sacrificing time that could have been spent with our families, for the pursuit of the almighty dollar.

In order to find true happiness, we first must learn to change our attitudes about money. We must learn that money, and the spending of it, provides only a temporary relief but does not present us with any real long lasting benefits. We end up owning something we either do not really want or do not really need, and the underlying emotional issues remain.

Rather than focus on the temporary satisfaction you may feel from spending money, try the following to bring you happiness without it.

• Imagine Having no Money 
  Imagine what you would do for happiness if you had no money at all. Think about how you would spend your time, and what you would do for enjoyment. Change your focus from material possessions to other things that bring you enjoyment, such as spending quality time with your family and friends. Rather than focusing on the accumulation of possessions, concentrate instead on playing with or reading to your children, or spending time out enjoying nature.


• Want What you Already Have 
  Society teaches us to want what others have. Instead, shift your thinking so that you are satisfied with, or want, what is already yours. What tends to happen is once we reach our goals in terms of owning personal possessions, we trade those old goals in for a set of new ones that involves bigger, better, and grander objects.
  
  Goals are good to have because they motivate us to work, and to continue to strive for self improvement. The key is to find a balance between having worthy goals and recognizing when we are allowing the desire for possessions to overwhelm the importance of other aspects of our lives. Rather than constantly striving for things we do not have, we need to shift our focus to being thankful for the things we already possess.
  
  


• Volunteer Your Time 
  One way to appreciate what you have is to work with others who have nothing, or who have disabilities that no amount of money can overcome. Volunteering time to work in a food bank, or to work with underprivileged children, can really alter your perspective on where you are in life, and can create a deeper appreciation for the gifts you do have in your life.
  
  Helping others can boost your spirits as well. There is a great deal of personal satisfaction to be gained from giving aid to those who are in need of it, leaving you with a sense of satisfaction that will carry over into your own life. Use the experiences of helping others to teach your children compassion and civic responsibility.

There are a number of ways to enjoy life without the need for a great deal of money. Certainly, it is important to work and earn enough to provide for our basic needs and the needs of our families, but it is important to recognize when the desire for personal possessions becomes overly consuming. There needs to be a balance between a satisfying work life and a rich home life, and the best way to achieve such a balance is to ensure the drive for material possessions does not become all consuming.

Written by David B. Bohl, the author of of Slow Down Fast
Photo Credit: lanmuoip

Nine Easy Tricks to Cut Your Spendings

How often do you resolve to spend less?

And how often do you actually manage that?

We’re constantly faced with opportunities to buy something – as we walk down the street, as we drive past stores, even at work with the vending machine or canteen nearby. And with online shopping, we can buy at any time of the day or night, with just a few mouse-clicks.

If you’re spending more than you want to, though, these are a few simple ways to cut your spending – without having to do any complicated budgeting, and without having to rely on willpower.

1. Write a Grocery List
   Simple, yep, but this one trick can make a big difference. If you often find yourself buying groceries that end up being thrown away, or if you get lured in by the cookies or ice-cream, then having a list will help. It also prevents repeated trips to the store to pick up that one thing you forget...
   
   A list lets you buy exactly what you need: no more, no less. It takes just five – ten minutes to write a grocery list, and you’ll easily save that much time in the store.


2. Leave Your Credit Card at Home
   If you often find yourself spending more than you should when you’re out shopping, then leave your credit card at home. Take cash, or a debit card: that way, you can only spend what you actually have.


3. Record What You Spend
   Just as keeping a food diary helps you lose weight, keeping a spending diary helps you save money. If you have to write down that bottle of cola and candy bar, you’re more likely to resist buying them.
   
   A spending diary will also highlight patterns: any areas where you’re spending more than you realise, and where you might be able to cut down.


4. Try the Store Brands
   If you normally buy branded products, try the store’s brand instead, or even a value range. You might be pleasantly surprised – sometimes, there’s little or no difference in quality (the products may even be produced in the same factory, by the same methods, and simply packaged differently).


5. Take a Packed Lunch to Work
   It only takes five minutes to make sandwiches in the morning – probably much less time than you spend heading out from work to buy your lunch. A packed lunch will cost you far less than getting food from a store or restaurant – and it’s often better for your health, too.
   


6. Add Items to a Wishlist
   When you’re browsing an online store, add any items that you like to a wishlist – don’t buy them straight away.
   
   As Trent Hamm explains here on The Simple Dollar, adding items to a wish list “takes the edge off of the immediate desire. I can also return to those ‘wish lists’ at a later time and determine if it was a ‘whim of the moment’ desire or something I actually have a use for.”


7. Block Online Shopping Sites
   If you’re really struggling to control your online spending, then try blocking any problem sites for your browser. When you really need to make a purchase, you can unblock them – but the extra step involved will help prevent you from going onto those sites “just to browse”.


8. Use Coupon Codes
   Any time you’re making an online purchase, search online for “coupon code” plus the name of the product or store. You might not find anything – but you might save 20% or more, with just a few seconds’ work.
   
   Many sites offer regular roundups and emails of coupon codes – try Retail Me Not for starters.


9. Ask “Do I Need This?”
   Any time you’re thinking of making a purchase, ask “Do I need this?”
   
   Of course, there’ll be times when you want to buy something that you don’t strictly need – but asking the question can help you to become more self-aware about your purchasing habits. If you’re considering putting money down for something which you don’t need but which you think you want, then give yourself a day or two to mull it over. Often, that initial impulse to buy will just vanish overnight.

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How To Make Peace With Money

Do you hate thinking about money? Even those that aren't living in financial distress can have an uncomfortable relationship with money. It's common to feel like it's not nice to think about money or that everyone has a good handle on it except for you.

The truth is money is a tool and we all have to decide how we will use it. You will be able to make better decisions about money if you can get to a place where you can think about in a matter of fact way instead of avoiding the subject or making all of your decisions based on feelings or guilt or shame.

Try these 10 steps to make peace with your relationship with money.

1. Tackle your finances head on. 
   It's not only practical and smart to know your net worth and liabilities but the more you ignore it, the scarier and more intimidating it will be. Make a list of all your assets and liabilities and take a careful look at where you stand.


2. Keep debt in perspective. 
   All things considered, it's better to be out of debt than in debt but there are far worse things in the world than owing money. It is a hole that you can dig yourself out of. And, if it turns out that something like bankruptcy is the only answer, it's still not the end of the world. You can overcome financial problems.


3. Make a plan for your money. 
   Most people feel more secure when they have an outline of what is going to happen and financial guidelines to tell them what to do. Writing out a plan that lists your financial goals and the steps you will take to get there is an excellent way to motivate yourself and keep your focus strong.


4. Understand that there is nothing shallow or petty about being concerned about money.
   Giving a healthy amount of your attention to your finances and making your financial health a priority is not a sign that you are less spiritual or evolved. Remember that it's important to take care of yourself if you want to help others.


5. Take a look at your shopping habits.
   Do you shop because you are bored or lonely? Do you buy things to get a high? While the occasional impulse buy or splurge or day out window shopping is not a problem, shopping should not be the cure for everything that ails you. Look for more positive ways to deal with negative emotions such as exercise, meditation or talking to friends.


6. Do what you can to ensure that you're being paid what you are worth.
   This can be a tricky subject as it often seems like compensation has very little to do with how much value a job gives to society, but, within every field there are some that are paid more or less. If you know that you are an asset to your employer or clients there is nothing wrong with asking for a raise, extra benefits or other consideration to reflect your value.


7. Stop waiting for a miracle or hero to save you financially.
   It's fun to daydream about winning the lottery or marrying a wealthy prince or princess and magically seeing our financial problems disappear. Sure, it could happen but you'll save yourself a lot of stress in the meantime by being proactive about fixing your finances.


8. Your self worth does not have to be dependent on your net worth.
   I think we all know this intellectually but it's something most of us have to remind ourselves daily. So many of us come from cultures where those that are wealthy are seen as being more worthy of esteem and those that are poor are looked at as being “less than”. Even comfortable middle class people can fall into the trap of thinking that because they can't afford every luxury they must have done something wrong. Remind yourself of this whenever you find yourself feeling anxious or insecure around those who have significantly more or less wealth than you do.


9. Stop being so judgmental.
   Sure, there are plenty of dumb decisions made about money every day but there isn't any value in pointing fingers or getting up on a high horse about other people's poor decisions. You absolutely can and should learn from the mistakes and experiences of others but using it as an opportunity to feel superior is only going to increase your anxious feelings about money. If you can be kind and understanding towards others when they make mistakes, you'll be better able to look at your own mistakes in a productive way.


10. Do some digging and find out what you fear about money/material possessions and confront it head on.
    It can be helpful to talk through these feelings with a trusted friend or family member. Things nearly always seem less intimidating when you get the courage to talk about them. Perhaps you fear thinking about your retirement because you feel stupid that you don't know what all the terms mean. Or perhaps you overspend on restaurants and entertainment because you are afraid your friends will abandon you if you can't keep up. Whatever your fear there is almost certainly a solution if you face it and get some help to figure out how to make it better.

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